SONATA WORLD NEWS

incorporating

Snotimes. Snot Rag. Sonata Xtra and Sonata Buyer Gazzettee anal

Sonata Worlds Report 3 SEPT Aug 2009 Race 19. A bit biased from homme trios avec names as he won. Ed.

 

EXCLUSIVE REPORT RACE 19

 

Tosspots, fools And knaves …. We are surrounded on all 5 sides. But tonight the gods favoured the good and righteousness prevailed amongst the sinners.

 

The RO, who is always nameless and blameless, set the most possible course. This was to be RIKKI’s swan song and how well she stepped up to the plate. “Shall I compare thee to a summers day – thou art more lovely and a better race officer………”  to para faze the immoral brad…..thank goodness there are people who love sailing so much they will volunteer to send those magnificent SONATA SAILORS into the blue. Sincere thanks from the SWSII organising committee, the lawyer in Paris and the rules tribunal in Geneva to             RIKI  and a big wet kiss from Adolph….in……         HAPPY RETIREMENT AWAY FROM BROADMOOR.

 

 

NIGHTMARE AS RACE NEARLY ABANDONED

St Tom and his legal team stood on the steps of BYC and cast a glove against the ruling body of the World Series. What if BB does not sail tonight? The trophy will be mine…….  No! I hear you cry. What is this churlish reportage…… but, kind reader, do not be fooled  - twas only ingest. St Tom was deplete of crew and sore afrit but did not shy away, like a pantomime camel, from the awesome task before him……

 

Apart from that the race would tack place anyway because waiting in the wings a piano! was about to play her joker. Simply Alto has been groomed for weeks to beat BB. The piano puffs gave Alto a gossamer spinnaker( £17000gbp)  to hunt down their rivals on BB and allow a points victory near the end of the season!!!!

 

Never has the SWS been more tenaciously fought. And little wondered at.

 

Mr Big in Athens watched the money button on the web cam as hit after hit came in on the Sonata web site. Jesse Owen – eat your heart out. The Beatles “All you need is love” with 700,000,000 listeners would have been delighted with the world viewing figures. Except Lennon of course who did not care for money, money don’t buy you love……

 

A piano! had a lush start and, with joy in their hearts, sailed ‘ the perfect race’ Dave groinonthemendihope was not able to groin in the celebrations but Chucker, Toast and Boffin celebrated with the man with 3 manes with  fruitbased cocktails.The owner (SL-S) left early to look at a piano’s lower pintle and, cryptically, “wipe it’s lovely arse”

 

RESULTS 1 A PIANO! 2 SIMPLY ALTO 3 BLUES BREAKER ( BB had a scratch crew because some tosser crew decided to wed, how lame is that?, and Alto had crème de la crème. Ed)

 

BROTHERS – ANOTHER CONVERT – THE PRICE OF  SONATAS IS GOING THROUGH THE GLASS CEILING.

You're intrepid reporter, following a lead from St Tom de Fuz, investigated a rumour that another player is keen to enter the Sonata World Series in 2011. Code name EXHE Katrina as seeking an s**t hot boat! The Sonata fleet are keen to tell her all their little tricks to make her boat go well – tee hee – if  she is as wise and I know she is she will have no difficulty wading through the b*** s**t but so what……. I’ll try to help anyway….

patronising clot. Ed

 

 

TITLE UP FOR CRABS

Resume – thanks to St Tom de Fuz and le osier and tight lipped as ever SL-S we now have a last race finish after 19 starts.

 

The two leading boats are tide. If one beats the other, if neither turn up and share the bubbly, if the other beats the one, if Cootie beats them both (no diff) if the race does not start, is abandoned, has only one boat, if one sinks and the other applies for redress, if they cross the finish together, if the RO throws a wobbly( or maybe does what he normally does) or war is declared and sailing is postponed till Armageddon – who knows. IF IF IF if you can keep your head while all around you are loosing theirs you’ll end up the tallest(old joke)…… Be on the Battery Gardens with banners, drums, dancing girls,  and that spirit that make us English people English - gin and tonic – next week 10 Sept 6:30pm Thursday . the dream must end….and begin again…….

 

Best wishes Simon and Sarah an ‘ansome couple and really good sprots. Even I’m wellinup.Ed.

 

Very tried and ad enuf. Yor SWW corresplsafjajsdf;;;jkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk