SONATA WORLD NEWS

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SONATAS TAR. Snot Rag. Sonata VIS and Snot Fair! (daily bleat)

Sonata Worlds Report 20 Aug 2009 Fun Race. News story in A-MINOR.

EXCLUSIVE REPORT FUN RACE. What is going on. A fun race? Since when was yacht racing fun? You may as well cruise or play golf….

EXCLUSIVE STORY on the opening ceremony of Torbay Week.

Those magnificent piano players at full tilt leading the field , photographed DEFINITELY NOT WINNING

at the last second of the opening race.

Today, at precisely 17:34 GMT Torbay Week was officially opened by RO’s Corbett, Edwards, Dodd and Hawkins. After a very short ceremony – laying a windward mark and a wing mark - the race committee on the magnificent monohull, Double Trouble, began a massive incendiary display which lasted exactly 5 minutes and culminated in the

Sonata Race Start.

Four (yes- see other reports) of these finely tuned yachts swept across the line as the last firework crashed into the heavens. They were followed by a flotilla of lesser craft which, as is always the case in yachting, GOT IN THE WAY!!!! Tuck, nip and more tucks: the positions changed throughout the hour long battle of wits. The boats evenly matched and the crews all in the peak of readiness – apart from “the pippin” who told me he thought the backstay was for scratching his arse.

To cut to the chase – apiano! was out of form but just about keeping BB and Alto in sight when SOMETHING HAPPENED. Your correspondent (very close to the action) was able to see BB tacking onto starboard to fetch the windward mark; one of the sightseeing yachts took his wind and he tacked again/and yet again. St Tom luffed up but still could not get round the Huge Yellow Ball. BB parked up on the buoy*. The Alto , storming up from a minute behind, on the perfect starboard layline was faced with the broadside of BB and a piano! crossing her bow just ahead. Cootie died a hundred times – Mrs Coote told me he kept waking an crying out like a hyena his pillow wet with sweat – as he luffed and dodged and turned and gybed and tacked “it was such a blur” he told me “ I cannot even remember seeing a piano anywhere but in the club bar”.

A piano! flashed in front of Alto, tacked round the “raft of boats, marks and miffed yotties” and, with their customary flair, popped a kite and headed for the finish. Yet another bystander, Nemesis, got in the way of the ‘fanny boats’ waiting to shower the piano players with garlands, gifts and offers to have their babies…. Far too much yachting. Ed.

Results. This is a fun event to support the RNLI so there are no winners but a piano! did get to the finish line before any other Sonata…

*A traffic warden on Furzeham Green spotted the parking offence and St Tom will be issued with a £35 fine which increases to £70 (obviously) if he pays late – interest is quite a lot over base rate.

Msr Le Oiseau will be sent a caution as he was deemed not to be in control of his vessel…..