The Times

First published 1875

Cox Sonata Purchase Sparks Huge Price Rises

By Arnold Fatcat-Commodities Correspondent

Richard Cox’s’ purchase of a highly competitive Sonata has caused prices on the second hand market to rocket overnight. Rumours of another powerful syndicate also about to enter the market have added further impetus.

The National Sonata Association has temporarily suspended its “for sale” facility until the market settles. Rumours that the once defunct Hunter boats are about to reform solely to produce new Sonatas cannot be discounted. Former CEO Peter Poland told The Times that at a potential selling price of just £100k it is doubtful if they can satisfy demand for at least five years. “These are great little boats in the right hands” he said “and now that ex-World Solo Champion(?) Cox has entered the World Series we confidently expect a glut of orders.

Meanwhile Dartmouth Regatta officials are considering giving Sonatas their own start at this year’s event. A spokesman who did not wish to be identified said “Kers, Melges and the like have had their day. It’s time for a bit of nostalgia.”

The Sun (Britain’s favourite newspaper) will be printing a series of special Page 3 girls featuring Sonata lovelies although what effect this will have on sales is debatable.

So the smart investor will forget fine wines, cocoa futures and the like and will surely be investing in Sonatas (if they can find one)