Sonata World Series ll News Report WEEK 4

MAYHEM IN PARIS AS STORM SHAKES THE SONATA WORLDS II.

I’m on the steep, sun drenched, marble steps of the Grand Courthouse, Geneva, surrounded by the Worlds paparazzi, awaiting news of the briefings being held inside. The proceedings are in camera and have been 24/7 for 10 days. Jokes about white smoke are getting on my nerves. A shambolic disgrace has rocked the already tense atmosphere of the Sonata Worlds Series II. This time it is due to interweb racing instructions being at odds with the printed programme – an error which caused a piano! to sail virtually twice a far as any other contender on race No 2.

The ‘man with 3 names’ was tight of lip and ashen of face as he left for his summer villa in Noss Mayo last weekend. Max Clifford is baffled as he has had no phone calls….

ECCLESTONE BACKS OFF.

Bernie Ecclestone has told an under cover girl in Blackburn that talks between him and Jim Jrosswhalla have broken up. It is rumoured that the F1 supremeo was making a colossal bid to take over SWS in which Jimmy the Whale has a controlling stake – this venture may have stalled due to the current legal battle being waged in Geneva. See pages 2,3, 5 – 9 & 11.

Meanwhile the piano! syndicate spearheaded by “ the bullet” Peter C is using up vast resources to fight this action and shares in 3 Icelandic Banks plummeted as a result. Thor Thorsonsnoson advised me, by crackling mobile phone on Friday, “kaav iz yeakk likc estogo” which translates into “ clump of grass be gone!!” ( Nogbad types please write to the editor or visit my bog)

WHAT HUMAN RIGHTS? ….is the pen mightier than the keyboard?

Cherie Blair has been following the story and was overheard in a New York salon saying that, if provoked with enough money, she could make a good case for either side in the battle of what is becoming known as the Pixel v Ink Scandal.

A representative of BYC, M Reads, said earlier this week, that Pixel v Ink hinges on interpretation of Rule 3.1. – she admitted failures in the protocols yet issued no apology. Miss Reads asked not to be named as she is in fear of reprisals by fanatic piano! supporters…. so his name and sex have been changed to protect her identity……

RYA FAIL THE LEADERSHIP TEST.

I have tried to get answers but I’m getting a right Browning on this topic. The RYA is being kept informed about unfolding stories in Geneva. An office lad in the Frog and Cutlass, Hamble, told me that this mess is going to shake yachting to the very core. Snooker bosses want to get in on it! This may be bigger than Denis Conner V Chris Dixson’s Americas Cup storm – downgraded to a storm in a tea cup. Louis Vuitton must be turning in his trunk. International Racing judges have cancelled all leave till the matter is settled.

Your Sonata Correspondent Geneva, Switzerland 7 May 2009.

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Tonight’s yacht race, no 4, was disappointing because only two Sonatas were available to challenge in perfect F4 conditions – we don’t know yet what happened to the rest of the fleet but as always you will be the first to know by reading my column. Crows lined the battery gardens chanting throughout the race which had a nail biting finish. Mr Tom Savage, with 37 seconds to spare, held his unblemished record of 3 straight wins and is doing a right Button on the chasing pack. Mr Coote was busy making enough money to continue his world campaign by writing some technical stuff for somebody about somfink to do wiv engineering…a piano crew members were seen knocking 3 bells out of each other on the club steps at midnight over whether to cross-winch in less than F3 winds….such is their passion for sailing.

As usual only the first 3 places are published,

1st Blues Breaker

2nd a piano!

DNS Simply Alto. Fleet.

Your Sonata Correspondent at Brixham Yacht Club.SL-S

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STOP PRESS.

JUSTIN FROMGENEVA STOP THE PIXEL V PEN SAGA IS OVER STOP SETTLED OUT OF COURT STOP RULE 3.1 APPLIES STOP UNDISCLOSED SUMS HAVE CHANGED HANDS STOP PEACE BROKEN OUT STOP MAX CLIFFORD GUTTED STOP LETS HOPE THIS IS NOT A STOP ED STOP

BUT the battle for the Sonata World Trophy continues again next Thursday night in the Crucible of Brixham Bay.