Sonata World Series II race No. 10 – 18 June 2009

The First Book of NoteS ON A TActical Yacht Race Start.

Revised by King James I with RYA prescriptions 2008-2012.

See rules PART 2

21.It came to pass that on the 4^th day (Thursday) he made the seas and winds and at 6:50pm decreed that Sonata Races would begin only as he did wish it so. And verily a flock of the daft, maddened by passion, would gather on the shores of the great bay of Brixham. And yea, great guns would flash over the dark waters, the seas rise up, the waters will boil, the waves would wave and all would be humbled and frit by its awesome power.

22. Some said the line it could not be crossed on starboard. But verily a massive wind shift allowed the apiano! And Blues Breaker to cross the start bark by bark, gunnel to gunnel, strake to strake, beam to beam (that’s enough Ed.). Matt looked across the foam to the bow of the piano and saw that his start was good.

23. It came to pass that ere smashing the fragile Blues against the grey clifffes o’ the Battery Point Matt did stand up above his crew in order to ask apiano! To make way and allow him safe passage. Thence Matt spoke unto Stephen, faying in an ftrong loud way, crying out in anguish, above the roaring and crashing of the force 3 tempest “We need water, Sire”.

24.Stephen, from Corinth in faire Middle Earth, whose honour is to be honour bound, whose life is little if dishonoured, whose soul is dust if disgraced, gave a great roar of anguish as he would forfeit the start in order to save those fellows from the clutches of the deep. He ordered his trusty brave men to turn his craft about on to port-tack beneath a great, lofty wall of billowing silk and a towering hull and point his tiny craft into the shadow of the valley of Tricord. Thus apiano! was lost from fame and glory for yet seven more days.

25. Woe be tide. Neigh, nay, aghast and gorman. And in that same time in the seas off Battery there came the three Sonatas called the ‘wind section’ and set their prows on yea ‘port tack flier’. They were sore afraid on seeing apiano! and the Breaker in swift flight across their bows not a swallows flight away for they had no right sally forth. The rights were with the Blues. The Blues had the rights of way and the right was with the Blues being on star board and was always thus since ships were sailed. There was much hair tearing, lamentation and gnashing of teeth on Bottyburp, Flatulence and The Flute. And they saw that it was NOT good.

26. To a dreadful report of methane being launched Bottyburp and Flute gybed away. Echoing eruptions from the crews reverberated upon the very cliffes of Fishcombe and Churston coves. Small stones were dislodgeth into the sea. Verily did a noxious, malodorous, toxic cloud of fetid, sepia stained vapour arise and flatteneth above the Brixham haven. For a full half day the sun did hide and did not shine upon the earth and the birds left their song – and the twigs were empty and the grass became full of dying birds and the beaks of the birds were open but never a sound was heard (except the sound of choking obviously). No one begat anything and a plague of vomiting struck down all the faithful who were wreathed in the vile smog. Bulimic people were in paradise. Sinners sin no more…….

27.Sonata “R” was plunged into the evil puss and the French crew did spew mightily, the awful retching sound thus did make the faithful shore-trapped flock gasp and lower their eyes as the mighty wrath of the all powerful was made real unto them. Much casting about, sack cloth, oaths, penances, male Haries, flailing and ashes could not compose the daft onlookers. Had St Tom been aboard Breaker that night he might have calmed the daft by tossing things to the shore – we know not what or how - faith is a mystery. Alas and alack St Tom was not on board.

28. But St Tom of Brixhamhq, was no where to be found: the roads the drives the streets and the lanes the byways and the paths the steps and the allies were combed. Women and boys scoured the town but they found him not, but they found him nowhere and nowhere was he found and he was not found anywhere not anywhere that anyone looked at although they thought he must be some where that they had not sook but they knew not where that was.*

29. Simply Alto’s simply Skipper simply commanded his boat to turn away from the mayhem as the wind section and “R” thrashed about in a fog of despond, helpless to help, saddened beyond sadness and Lo! Where is Flatulence? What evil can befall those brave souls who did not make the shore? I shall toil in the seas till the ends of the race and fall at mine own door rather than gaze upon sich a sight once more – said Chris Coote – in the Inn for there waf no room in the stable.

Thus endeth the start……of the 10^th race…..

*Yea it is written in the psalms that in this time of need Tom was “spending more time with his family”

As when as spittle fish bites a heron so shall the dormouse sleep with one eye open and on one leg – or is that the heron? E Cantoner(sic) June 2009.

Results – only first 3 listed as usual

1 Blues Breaker

2 apiano!

3 Simply Alto

Well you know what to expect by now……..