After winning the reality TV programme 'The Matelot' the full impact of becoming a member of 'Sir Steve's' crew began to dawn on me. I was about to enter the hallowed shadowland of the Sonata World Series.
At the time I didn't realise how important 'fashion sense' would come to be but what else is in a world where all other sense has been abandoned?
The first race in the series bought home the importance of being coordinated. We were totally outclassed by the other teams in their Reds and Blues whilst we in our lacklustre confusion of colours could only grumble at each other Well I don't know where the jolly old genoa is. It was only after the race that we finally deduced the sail was still at the repairers!
In subsequent races we slowly climbed the learning curve of fashion/sense. Following a few false starts, understanding the complex interplay of cleverly designed coloured rags gave us the ability to start a race at the correct time and circumnavigating the numerous 'red herrings' involved in decoding the correct course has been an adventure we are reluctant to repeat though repeat it we do.
Now, as I write this, I realise that we have come a long way up the learning curve and in the true Corinthian spirit that permeates this race series I thought it might be helpful to the other competitors to share a few tips here they are:-
1) Always have a full set of sails on board at the start of a race the more sails you have the faster you can go.
2) Never download anything from the internet if you intend to rely on it in a court of law later.
3) Always eat a pork pie before the start of any race it works for us anyway. It's not just haute couture that matters, haute cuisine is important too. Maybe any old haute will do?
4) Always have a girl on board we didn't win until we got one.
5) Get a fan club we are doing much better since we got ours. Nothing stirs the imagination more...or makes less sense!
Well there you have it. The series continues throughout the summer months and I only hope I can keep up the exacting (dress?) standards expected by the other protagonists in this great but often baffling sport!