A Profile of the top 20 Sonatas this year.

Blues Breaker	The single most successful World Series Champion of all time. Best weight for weight sailors on the division lead by Tom Savage AKA St. Tom by his hand-reared free-range crew of Simon- tactics, Matt Dam - helm, Rebecca- girl, and Tom Jnr - cabin boy, Sarah - another slightly bigger girl. Rebecca Sails lasers to The tip of Ireland! Enigmatic is the watchword – one day I may get a glimpse of what makes these crew so successful…..
Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra aka BSO.	Have not got a clue - mainly cabinet ministers masquerading as sailors - you’ve see this kind of thing before and it's not funny. BSO have not yet tuned their boat for racing....
Nancy (thigh boots).	The all girl post ironic entry that have lots of fun ashore and add glamour to the sport.
Flatulence, Windy, Bottyburp, and Windbreak.	The wind section - Solid hard working yachties, the backbone of the series, puttin away pies and "all day breakfast" from dawn till dusk - probably related to John Prescott. NB rules only allow one toilet per boat so keep upwind of theses critters. The wind section tends to do best in heavy air as long as it has no lumps in it so the topsides are not slippery.
A piano!	- The bridesmaids loosing the bouquet of cherries tossed at them each week. Usually second in fleet. Man with 3 names AKA Steve Linley-Shaw - owner and main sponsor of World Sailing in Torbay and owner of 2 Duck Islands: Mike (you’re toast) Inness - foredeck, wave watcher, polo waiter, architect of all victories, joker, toast maker extraordinaire: Robin (chucker) Smith - I would not put this man in charge of a bunch of kids - navigator, funny man, boat speed and trim - likes to lighten the boat by throwing things off it: Peter ( the bullet) Chrystie - tictacs, boffin, helm, keeper of two hats, comedian, race report manager - Peter explains where they went wrong after the race: Jane Silver - miss lovely adds glamour to every occasion and civilizes the crew - "French lessons" a speciality and not innuendo.
Mozart's flute	- Probably the most classic sonata but he never does very well in the Worlds.
Brahms n Liszt	- More dross from Parliament: do we honesty care what these chumps do as long as they don't create chaos on the start line: maybe they should invite us to vote for them - again
String section, Fiddler and Harpic	- Light weight apprentices - only get near the front in a drifting match when the gifted crews give up.
Simply Alto	- Owner Chris (the coote) Coote - no won knows where he got his nickname but if you look at the shape of his head..... Was known as Simply but was Alto added for musical effect. Crewed by a bunch of ragamuffin ne’er-do-wells including the slightly barmy Mark (hobbsy) Hobbs - no won knows where he got his nickname - these guys are so off the wall!
Frank	There are 3 franks – quite honestly that is 2 too many.
The oddly named Melody, Sandra, Tifino, Twin Ms Brahms and Le French entry "R"	Are all private entries -especially the Frenchman. R does surprisingly well and occasionally give Alot Simply a fright from astern.
Blue Nun, ToyataYaris 1.4i and Carling Black Label	Have the fanciest spinnakers with beautiful artwork - it is rumoured that they are in receipt of commercial sponsorship but we have not yet found the source. Never go to the club after racing - back to a hanger to learn more sailing drills till the early light - give away their beer leg vouchers when they win - an odd bunch.